You would think the male ego embraces the physiological and anthropological studies claiming, “Humans are not inherently monogamous religion and society uphold monogamy.”
I follow a haphazard blog called, Until I get Married.
Today, I read a post about “Love” and the “women” the Author claims men should not “fall for.”
The author claims a woman “Loved” him, but he did not love her. He claimed he could only see them being “friends.” He proceeded to list all of the things this woman did to show her “love” for him even after they “broke up.” He mentioned her “kindness” and gestures that made it clear that she “loved” him. He said he felt “guilt” that he could not love her back.
I mean, she was cooking for him, and looking at him with adoration! Why wouldn’t that be “love?” Right?
Wrong.
When a man makes efforts on a woman, the woman takes it as a complement. Even if she is not interested in the man. She doesn’t feel the need to, “Not do him dirty” she usually tells the guy straight, or the guy finds someone else within the hour.
When a woman wants a male or shows interest in a male on ANY level the man can’t control his ego. His ego gets SO boosted that he MUST humor this “poor woman” even though she is such a bother.
He must talk to this poor women even though she is hideous. He must go on a date with this poor woman because he cant say “no.” He must become distant with the poor woman instead of saying “I met someone else.” He must endure her poor woman harassment because he doesn’t have the heart to say “thanks but no thanks.” He must poorly sleep with her or poorly live with her because he feels obligated. He has no other choice, poor man! He must go with every poor woman that shakes her butt at him because he would be doing them “dirty” if he didn’t. Women that, have a voice and opinions or don’t just roll over and spread eagle get deemed crazy, attached, demanding, immature and inexperience.
The Author seems to miss the point that he is a full grown man dealing with a full grown woman. He is not in high school or college.
I wonder if the author ever thought that she “loved” his company, face and body? Maybe she “loved” being around the author because he was indeed a pleasant guy. Maybe she had not found anyone else OR she was doing this for multiple men? Did he ever think that she was simply enjoying “the view?”
Was she asking every time with her “gestures” of kindness, “We should get back together? I love you so much please take me back! What is the percentage chance that we will get back together? Do you want to stay the night? Can we get married?” Did the author show up to her “gestures of kindness” because of guilt or his egotistical need to feel, “wanted?” Maybe she was simply being “KINDhearted” and bored. Maybe the author’s ego just couldn’t swallow her gestures as simply, “I like you, but not like that.”
Most of the men I am friends with can’t believe, “Quiet little Shamime doesn’t believe in, marriage and is open to casual sex/dating!” Like children plugging their ears singing, “la la la la” my male friends ignore when I say, “I care for all men/women just like I care for a guy I want to sleep with...to me, sex, intimacy and getting to know people is just a recreation.” I hold all my friends accountable for their actions/words and care about their life choices and well being.
Others claim I do not know what i am saying due to my age. Women claim I just need to meet the right guy and he will change my mind. I am a quiet female that many of my friends label as, “Selfless, marriage material, would make a great mom, kind, loving and an Ethiopian Virgin Mary with better hair!”
In short, men see something vastly different, than what women are projecting.
I suggest the Author of Until I get Married ask himself, “IF I marry any women, how long will it be until SHE asks for a divorce!”
