I love the article Eligible, Black, Male, and Hopelessly Single. For once it highlights what black men have to offer instead of highlighting what many women or sociological studies claim black men “lack.”
The “Ghosts” referenced in the above article mirror men that date multiple women and do not marry (in general)...Men are NOT dating seriously or marrying because of their “ego.” Not the "I am better than you ego,” but an internal ego battle to feel, "masculine" in the eyes of their love interest. I know women claim men can’t "balance" a relationship when trying to get their “shit together.” However, men seem to balance one night stands, movies, paying their cellphone bill, eating and a job. It is not that men can’t find women, and it is not that they cant “readily” date or marry a woman...
WHAT men of all races can’t handle is a woman that MIGHT have more “going” than they do. Many men are single, because women expect them to be in higher education, a career or have MONEY. Similar to men expecting women to cook, encourage them and have a job herself. It is a Catch 22 for men. If a woman is smart she will question his actions and motivation (and maybe make more money). If a woman is not so smart, she will spend his MONEY instead of asking questions, because she doesn’t have the capacity to ask him anything. It is hard to find a “thoughtless” thoughtful woman with a full time job and the ability to manage, a relationship, marriage or children, YET alone a checkbook! Of course I am speaking in extremes, but the concept is true.
It is not necessarily money that is an issue, but the intellectual “dialogue” and work ethic a man and woman share. Many women of certain standards expect men to eventually “achieve” more than where he is presently sitting (a little thing called “growth”). If men understand that women are not expecting an Audi, but expecting him to dedicate himself to something other than easy women, sex and only "talk” about being a better man, he will have to worry about the Audi. Remember the saying, “Shoot for the moon, but if you miss you fall with the stars?” The male ego can’t handle the latter. Men need to feel on top from the start and know they will be on top the entire time. One of my blog posts “It doesn’t matter how hot you are it just matters how good you make him feel”
Men do not want a daily reminder by a beautiful woman that they might not “measure up” and she might very well leave (because he doesn't have his shit together). Men want to settle down, but NOT when their pride is threatened and they feel guilty for not being “better.” If men can forget about driving an Audi and try not to focus so much on what they DON’T have women will notice their “burgeoning” independence/confidence. A Man does not have to be “ready made,” he simply needs to ready himself to achieve. AND lastly, in response the article: Maybe Samson had lice and his “woman” was smart enough to convince him to cut his hair...
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