“Oh, this food is AMAZING! What are you? Where are you from?”
I knew this was meant as a compliment and he wanted to know my ethnic background, but I decided to answer with, “I am from Sacramento! It’s an Indian dish called, ‘Butter Chicken!’” My friend then tried to clarify for his friend, “No, Shamime he means what are you? Like, ethnically?” I wanted to reply with, “Most of the time I’m human, but sometimes I am a bitch,” but I instead replied with the usual breakdown of my ethnic and racial identities.
My friend was amused at my apparent “confusion” to his friend’s inquiry; so amused, that he told our friends later how I responded. My friend, as diverse and loving to all ethnic, racial and religious differences, couldn’t understand that at that moment I was something “other” than he.
I was an African American/Indian American female that cooked a food dish, while he was a white male that enjoyed consuming my food. The question to my ethnic background, how ever positive and innocent still started with, “What are you?” instead of “Where did you learn to make this food?” If my white friend had made this food, he would not have been asked, “What are you? Or “Where are you from?” Applying objectifying terms such as “what,” separates my ethnic “self” from my personal “self” (or identity). I became more than just, “Shamime, a girl in America that ‘googled’ an Indian food recipe and adapted the recipe to match a restaurant she frequented.” I became less of my ability to cook and more what I ethnically/racially appeared; as if I should be able to cook, because the ability to cook is in my blood (or at least this amazing curry dish).
I have met countless individuals of many ethnic backgrounds that CANNOT cook and this is not a shock. If my “cooking challenged” friends are female, many say, “You will learn once you have a child and a husband.” If he is a “cooking challenged” male friend, many will make excuses that, “He doesn’t need to learn EVERYTHING.” The racial and social contrasts I observe, however, when I meet a white friend that can cook? Everyone makes a huge “to do” over it; don’t let my white friend be a man, as women will line up around the block for this man. If he is an “ethnic” male that can cook, it is amiable, cute, but not nearly as impressive....Why?
