“He’s so cute, does he have a brother?” My friend’s sister asked. I chimed in “Yes, and after you find a brother can I have his cousin?!” I witnessed a wave of shock flow across their face! Her sister then asked, “Shamime what kind of man do you like? What is your type?”
What is the significance of a man? Everyone knows women want a “good” man (someone that will treat them right). What people DO NOT know is most women want to feel like they have “access” or a right to some men sooner than others (either in their cultural community, racial group or social circle). **of course there are always exceptions to this claim**
What do I mean? Most non-biracial individuals (or people that have never dated outside their cultural or racial group) believe they have ready “access” to the men in their “group” over the women not in their “circle.” This is not racism, but an exclusivity or competitiveness that women partake in. It is the idea of “Whats wrong with me that he had to go with someone who is a different color or culture, etc.?” As silly as that sounds, it is something people ask and something women get extremely sensitive about if they are ALL single (with very few eligible men around)...The act of “claiming.”
For example, while at a restaurant with my friend, an extremely cute man walked in and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. His perfect olive skin, strong jawline and adorable nose had me smitten. I mentioned to my friends, “Oh, gosh, he’s amazing...how can I speak to him...” I am not ethnically or culturally what he is...but my friend is! She, however, made no effort to help me talk to him! I thought it was strange that she wouldn’t help me, even though her current boyfriend was acquired by our mutual friend helping her in the same scenario.
On our way out I remembered her criticism of me liking my white friend, yet encouragement to “go for” my black friends without cars or jobs. So, I decided to say, “Wow that guy was a cutie! I should ask my friend's mom how SHE infiltrated this culture. Man, he’s sexy and worth it.” My friend’s eyes bulged and she exclaimed, “Wait, WHAT? Is her mom of my culture?” and I said, “No, her mom is Black...like me. My color and everything.” Our other friend said, “Remember though she’s Asian too, Japanese” and I replied “ I know isn’t that great? I’m Asian too, Indian. I think I will Facebook her when I get home!” My friend said, “So wait, her dad is of my culture, not her mom?!” and I replied with a coy smile, “Yes and she is gorgeous, wonderfully diverse. I must come back and eat here again! Maybe I will see that cutie again!”
The distress in my friends voice was apparent as was her confusion, permanent frown and baffled arm motions. I thought to myself,
“Man if I acted like that every time I see a black man with a non black woman...”
So please let me and everyone else love who we want! Love should be color, class and culture "blind!"
