Dating: Los Angeles vs. Sacramento....
What is Dating? Why the label?
Today, I spent the evening with my friend “Julie” and her boyfriend playing some golf. Her boyfriend brought along his best friend. Julie made it clear we were not each other's type, because he was only into skinny blondes and I am everything but skinny or blonde and have no desire to convince him otherwise!
Golf was pleasant, with ice cream and at the conclusion of the evening Julie’s boyfriend gave her an affectionate hug and his best friend exclaims humorously after a hand shake, “Man, you guys are cheap dates....only ten dollars!” and “So, this Sunday, golfing, it’s a date.” I smiled and exclaimed, “Yes, of course we must!” because Julie needs to practice her golf game!
I found, however, red flags going off in my head, when I heard the word “date” and to myself I said, “date? Date?! What? I didn’t smile or even hug the guy. Why would he use the deadly word DATE?”
Then I remembered I was in Sacramento, NOT Los Angeles....and at one time I, too, used to use the word “date,” as a way of describing spending time with people....not anything serious!
BUT I learned first hand how the D-Word does not travel three hundred plus miles down to L.A. and maintain the same connotation! The word Date transforms when in LA, much like “Hella” becomes non existent. Date becomes SERIOUS.
In Sacramento, saying date doesn’t pack as much of a deadly doomed fate as it does in Los Angeles!
I will never forget my sophomore year. I told a UCLA Man friend we should try a Soul Food place that I share with most of my food loving friends.... Not thinking, I exclaimed on the phone “Great! It’s a date!” After hanging up the phone, I thought to myself “I totally forgot I was speaking to a straight single male friend....I wonder if he will take this the wrong way? No, No, No, everyone says he’s a womanizing player like many of my male friends....its fine, he will play this and it will be fun, no worries!”
Unfortunately, I was wrong. I found out the word “DATE” was deadly while waiting at the spot where I was supposed to meet my Man friend, I found he was not there....and he exclaimed via text, “I have to workout at the gym; see my godfather; I am in the library doing research, so I cant talk” and lastly turning his phone off; leaving me hanging with a later email that his phone died and we should reschedule.
The ultimate “I’m just not that into you” even though, at the time, I was only into some AMAZING macaroni and cheese....that evening I reflected, and realized I should have been hurt, and after a while I was....but happy I found out that this guy didn’t like me “like that,” but really players don’t like anyone right? So why did he act so strange?? The deal breaker? The word DATE!
So there you have it, age twenty five and below people, be careful with the word DATE in L.A., because in L.A. people don’t date. Men and women a like test to see how much of a “sure thing” the other will be. For men its sex, for women it is security, money, kindness or sex.
Someone under the age of twenty five, who is not creepily searching for marriage or instant sex after footing the bill, is hard to find, but a way to find a keeper and ward off the bad ones, regardless of who asks who first, is to drop the D-word and no, its not Daily Dose of Diversity, but DATE.
P.S. thank you to the Julie, her BF and his best friend for implementing what I missed out on in high school, the socializing fun “date.”
